Nascar, You Suck.

There’s two types of rednecks in this world. One, the simple farming man who provides for his family of four, his golden retriever and all of his livestock. The other? A 320 pound, beer toting, thick mustache-having, loud drunk who enjoys watching cars make countless left turns while letting out a loud, “Yeeeeeeee dawgy!”

The latter was seen in Vegas this past weekend at the 2017 Monster Energy Nascar Cap Series while yelling and spilling his Budweiser while watching a fight between Kyle Busch and Joey Logano.

I don’t know a lot about Nascar or Nascar etiquette but Kyle Busch must be regarded as “the biggest pussy this side of the Mississippi” by Nascar rednecks.

In the second to last lap of the race it looked like Joey Logano bumped Kyle Busch’s car which practically totaled Busch’s car. If you’re going to a Nascar race, isn’t the sole purpose you go is to watch a catstrophe, a multi-car wreck that sets drivers on fire, jumping out of their 4×4 windows with no doors?

Well, Busch took exception to Logano’s move and seeked him out of the crowd to give him a piece of his mind. In the process, Busch had his has set on the ground by Logano’s wingmen, suffered a cut above the brow and had a post-race interview while he was bleeding profusely, sounding like a little bitch.

All Logano said when asked if any punches landed as, “Not on me, brother!”

Wow, I hate Nascar.

Wow Coach K Told ’em Alright…

That was sarcasm in the title if you couldn’t tell.

Coach Krzyzewski of the Duke Blue Devils, currently recovering from a recent back surgery, has wreaked some “heavy” punishments upon his players.

Krzyzewski’s slumping Blue Devils have dropped 4 out of their last 7 games and lost to true cross state rival N.C. State. Coach K hasn’t lost to the Wolfpack since 1995.

In his defense however he has not been courtside due to his recent surgery.

“He wasn’t happy,” a source told ESPN, “especially after the loss to NC State.” It’s pretty hard to tell thanks to his daily prescription of Just For Men blocking out any basketball-related silver hairs.

As a consequence, Coach K dealt out strict orders to NOT wear any Blue Devil apparel and has banned his players to the locker room.

Listen Coach K… I understand the motif and I can appreciate it but this isn’t the late 80s-90s. Laettner’s whining ass might have been bed-ridden a couple days drowning in tears but here’s the difference between when you started your prestigious tenure in Durham and now.

Players like Malik Monk and Grayson Allen are only going to be wearing that Duke Basketball apparel for 5 more months anyways until the NBA draft in June. Laettner, Grant Hill, and Bobby Hurley were solid fixtures and installed the Duke legacy, they weren’t one and done like every successful collegiate basketball player nowadays.

All in all, I see where Mike Krzyzewski is coming from but it simply doesn’t mean anything to his players. They’ll just being waving bye to him in a few months, becoming millionaires and wearing gold jewelry on top of their Duke apparel.

Malik Monk and the Duke Blue Devils (15-5) travel to Wake Forest (12-8) in a ACC matchup on Sunday.